youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
