we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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