she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
