Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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