don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
