I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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