Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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