why didn't you poke me back
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
