I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
