dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
