somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
