i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
