then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she smelled like a LAN party
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
