She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
