I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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