I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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