I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
