He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
