The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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