Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
