The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
