he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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