I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
