I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
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