you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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