WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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