That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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