if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
