Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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