so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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