I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
