I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
