Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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