..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
