Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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