I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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