And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
