am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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