How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So apparently I’m into choking now
why is half of my head shaved?
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