I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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