your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
