i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
