In America we eat man semen.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Randomize
