but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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