i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
