drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i came on her dog
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
