She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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