is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
