I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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