yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
