C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
