I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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