Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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