you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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