pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
