You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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