What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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