at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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