I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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