But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
