What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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