i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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