he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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